What's Up Doc?

A doctor has been important to my health care since my birth.  I’m told I was with one the morning that it happened.   From what my mom tells me, it was in a genuine hospital. 

I was told later I was one of the last babies born there, that the following month the building was demolished to make room for a John Deere Tractor Showroom.  As far as I know no one blamed me, but for years I carried around a lot of guilt about it.

There were doctors and nurses everywhere in the hospital that day.  I know this because of what I saw on television shows like St Elsewhere and ER later.   The fact I didn’t have an actual memory of that doesn’t bother me, because it seems most people don’t remember much from the day they were born.  My grandpa told me I smiled at the nurses.  My mom says it was just gas.

These days there aren’t many physicians hanging out at hospitals, or even their own offices.  I say this because I’ve been to both places a couple of times over the last couple of years.  So, I know first-hand.  You may think this is an unusually small statistical sample, which is true.  But who would argue that these aren’t unusual times?

There are several reasons for doctor’s being absent from their place of work so frequently.   But the number one factor is clear and obvious…It’s the scrubs.  They just aren’t very flattering.

Another reason is the COVID pandemic that has changed, well, everything.   It brought unprecedented contact restrictions, forcing many people to work remotely.  Thanks to technologies like Zoom and Telehealth, even doctors get to work without pants from home.

A doctor does not want to get sick because the last thing they want to do is see another doctor.  Why? I’d say its part ego and part their code.  No, not their tax code, their code of ethics.  This says they are responsible to provide the best treatment for each patient.  Any good doctor would be convinced they’re the top choice.  But when they’re the patient, they really can’t treat themselves.  I mean, there would be so many unreachable places.  It’s a vicious circle.

I grew up in the Central Valley of California, where all doctors were welcome.  Even there, those with medical degrees were preferred, but doctors who were at-the-bottom of their classes were encouraged to apply. One successful Fresno chiropractor had only a hand-written, honorary degree from a Bolivia, and he cracked backs up and down the valley for years.

I don’t remember there being a pediatrician there growing up, probably because it was just too hard to pronounce.  Our family doctor was well-known in the area, mostly because his brother was a two-time Olympic decathlon champion.  A lot of people were pretty sure that’s how he got into medical school, although it was never clear how he graduated.  He was also terrific at writing prescriptions, which also made him very popular in my hometown. 

         Now, I’ve had the same physician for most of my adulthood, and I count myself blessed for that.  He is close to my age, and of course I wonder if I really want somebody as old as me in charge of my health care.  I barely trust myself to take out the garbage much less wax out of somebody else’s ears.  But I’ll stick to my guy, at least until one of us doesn’t show up for appointments anymore.

Growing up, every old person I remember, would spend all morning watering their yard, and all afternoon watching Randolph Scott westerns.  They drank.  They smoked.  They coughed. They farted. They wheezed.  And then they went to the doctor.  Once--sometimes even twice a year! And he drank and he smoked and he coughed, etc.  It was a different time.  If only they had access to the sort of healthcare most of us do nowadays, they might have quit that drinking and smoking earlier so they could spend more of their remaining years in misery.

Of course, As a senior, you likely will find yourself seeking medical advice more often.  Most people would expect that to happen as you get older.   When you’re younger you assume when past middle age, you’ll be frailer, so sick more.  You figure your bones will be brittler, so they’ll break more.  Your medicine cabinet will be packed full of plastic bottles with latin-sounding nonsensical names on the labels. And you’ll smell different, like a long-closed freshly re-opened cedar chest.  All of which, then, made me happy to know that this old age stuff was so many years away.  It was like it would never happen! But guess what? It did.

My Octogenarian parents are of the generation that came to appreciate trips to the doctor.  Now they only go out for their medical needs.  That, and milk of magnesia or Whoppers.  Mom stills drives them, and a look at their car wheels confirms that.  Its possible there still could be a few curbs out there she hasn’t hit.

We grew up with the saying an apple a day will keep the doctor away.  These days, apples are way down the food chain for reasons why you can’t get a doctor to see you. Remember, the medical system scheduling is based on when a doctor needs a patient appointment, not the other way around.  You may not get that visit you desire for other reasons like wrong insurance, wrong referral, wrong test-results, wrong box checked on questionnaire, wrong tee-time made for doctor, to name a few.

My parents remained unphased by the rest of the world’s challenges with getting competent, timely healthcare.  They are veterans of retirement living, and they aren’t worried about the next disaster, unless it’s a week without their Kaopectate.  They’ve got a system, with long standing and regular appointments with a dozen of practitioners, all desperately hoping to write a referral to somebody else. So many trips to see doctors is probably overkill (couldn’t resist.) But it’s all good, as it does get them out and about, off the couch and away from that third afternoon nap.

 Copyright 2022, by Rusty Evans, Biology Department Head